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Submitted on
July 16, 2013
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66 (who?)

Barry studied the photo, squinting.

It could’ve been this kid. It was entirely in the realm of possibility that, in the three months since the license picture was taken, he had grown dreadlocks, which he’d dyed a deliberately filthy blond. It was also possible that he had regrown the three front teeth which had been very obviously knocked out. Or maybe they were plastic caps. The technology existed. Contacts could explain away the eye color changing from brown to blue. A lot of people wore them, these days. Barry himself opted for glasses, feeling they made him appear more sophisticated.

“This is you?” he asked.

The kid appeared to shit between three and five bricks. Still, he maintained composure as best could be expected of a sixteen year old boy, half-lidded his eyes in a caricature of calm exasperation, and nodded.

“When’s your birthday?”

“February 13th.”

“What year?”

He screwed up his face like he was doing calculus, then feigned an easy smile. “Every year.”

Barry pursed his lips and looked over the license again.

“How did you go from six foot seven to… what, you’re maybe five-five?”

“I was… there was an accident,” he said. “I was in Afghanistan.”

“Were you.”

“Yeah. I… a mortar went off. Early. I was in the humvee. Blew my goddamned feet off.”

The boy shook his head, overcome by loss.

“Never gonna slam-jam again.”

“Boy, this has got to be the worst fuckin’ fake ID I’ve ever seen in my life,” Barry said.

“Hey, I fought for your country,” the boy returned, jabbing a finger at him. “You can’t talk to me that way.”

“Yeah? Let me see your feet.”

The boy paused, then swung his right leg up onto the counter and peeled back someone’s grandfather’s argyle sock to reveal a thin, barely hairy leg.

“Son, there’s hair on that.”

“They’re doing amazing things with prosthetics these days.”

He clunked his foot back to the floor and leaned on the counter.

“Look, man, I just want a sixer of Miller Lite. I’m not trying to buy goddamned meth porn here.”

“Oh, Hell!” Barry said, whirling to the cooler. “Whyn’t you say so? Ain’t no law against me selling you beer-flavored pisswater. I don’t even think there’s alcohol in it.”

“Are you serious?!”

Barry slapped the six-pack on the counter. “Hey, five even.”

The boy stuffed a bill into his hand and shook his head, dreadlocks flapping wildly.

“I just dropped thirty dollars on that fuckin’ shitty fake ID.”

“You got hustled, boy.”

“You’re telling me.”

“Doubly, if you’re gonna drink that swill.”

The boy eyed Barry, no longer comfortable with the level of familiarity in their interaction, and stormed out of the glass front doors.

“Semper fi, buddy!” he called after him.

Flash Fiction Month day 16. Prompt: "It was a very bad forgery, to be honest"
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-10-15
Supportin' Our Troops by ~ivannikolayevich is a small slice of life in America. ( Featured by neurotype )
doughboycafe Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2013  Professional Writer
Snappy dialogue, realistic interaction, funny wordplay. Sucked me in and kept me there. Also, you gave me an uneasy feeling with the whole pretending to be a veteran bit, which I think and hope was intentional, but again, realistic. Well done, and congrats on the DD, itīs deserved.
Parsat Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Student Writer
Freakin' hilarious.
swimgirl195 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013
hahahaha omg this is hilarious, LOVE IT. thumbs up yo!
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
leyghan Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Irreverent and well crafted. Can't ask for more. I enjoyed the hell out of this! :clap:
Wolfetta Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013

"between six to five bricks"

*wipes the tears from eyes*


diphylla Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Congrats on the Daily Deviation! :pumpkin:
Rodegas Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013
Hmm the name of it was misleading
BoxOfBlueRoses Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this you should write books some day!
ivannikolayevich Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013
I actually write books today! Publishing them is something totally different, though
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